I have a five year old

Five. Adelaide is five.

After we celebrated her special day together as a family we had a chance to head home to Illinois and Missouri to celebrate with friends and family there. It was a short trip, but it was good for Addie, as she has missed her friends since we moved to Kansas.

I am challenged every day by this little girl. Challenged on what I am doing wrong as a mother, challenged to do better, challenged to remember that the days we have are the days she will remember when she looks back at her childhood.

She loves to have fun. She can be very social, but also needs time to herself to play and dream up scenarios for her Barbies and ponies and dolls. I love to over hear her playing and imagining - she does a great job at playing independently. Currently, she loves playing with smaller dolls and animals, figures she can set up and create little worlds in which they can play.

She still hangs back a little when it comes to new situations. She wants to check things out, watch other people, before she dives in herself. But, when she does jump in, she jumps all the way.

She's a bargainer, and will let us know how she wants to do things, even when she's supposed to simply obey us. She wants to be heard. Sometimes what she says is valid - sometimes it's just an attempt to stall and to do things her own way. Sometimes she is completely compliant, polite and ready to do the right thing.

She's a sweet big sister. She will speak for Olive, who is just learning to speak. At times she wants to be left alone, and other times she is Olive's caretaker, her protector. She is learning to share her space.

She's still not fond of goodbyes, although she is getting better. She has a memory like none I've ever seen. She likes to be silly. She likes to tease. She can be very sweet, loving, and thoughtful.

She is growing up. I see it every day in the way she handles herself. She makes me proud, she reminds me of me in good and not so good ways, she makes me laugh, she makes me thankful.

So many times I fail and so many times I wish I could rewind and redo. But each time she forgives me and we start over.

I am so thankful to be her mommy.

Happy Birthday, Adelaide. I sure do love you.

Miss Olive

My Olive is 18 months old.

I fear as she reads through this record of our lives some day, she may feel slighted - her first year has not been as well documented as it should have been. I am sorely behind in doing so. What a crazy year her first year has been for our family. But, I've said it before - she has been a source of joy in an otherwise uncertain time.

Olive = fun. She loves to have fun. She smiles big, toothy, drooly grins. She belly laughs when you tickle her or flip her around or nuzzle her neck.

She's her own little person, but if big sister is around, she'll willingly imitate her, whether it's mom-approved behavior or not.

She's still tiny, toddling around on sweet, spindly legs and wearing about a size behind her age in clothes. But those legs are long like her sister's, so finding pants to fit that tiny waist and those long legs is proving to be an ongoing challenge.

She's talking. This is one of my favorite things about this age. I love hearing this new voice. I've heard it plenty in yells and general noises, but now I hear the words apple, owl, yeah, Daddy, Maaaaaama, bowl, door, boo (moo), and many others. She roars and has her own words for baby and doggy, two of her favorite things.

She's my little bookworm. Ever since she was able to scoot over to the bookshelf and pull book after book after book down, she's been enamored. More often than not you can find her in a corner, on the floor, sitting on the couch, flipping through a book. She'll drag a book, bigger than her, over to you, open it up, and start pointing. She may even grab your hand and want you to hold hers as she points to pictures and looks to you to tell her what it is. It's likely she'll already know what it is, especially if it's an animal, but she may just want you to say it anyway.

She's running. Doesn't like the word no. Teases when she knows you want to change her diaper. Likes to hug. Has a personal rule of one pacifier in the mouth, one in the hand.

She's so much fun. There's something about this age that tempts me to want to freeze my kiddos, knowing full well that even more great times are ahead as they get older and, frankly, who wants to have to figure diapers in to the budget for the rest of time?

At times I feel sad that she's no longer quite a baby but I love being on the front row of watching her learn and grow and I'm so grateful she is healthy enough to do the things she does.

I'm so thankful to be her mommy. 

My ABC

Did you know that my Adelaide's initials are ABC? Adelaide Bell Chaney.

When we were naming her we knew her first name would be Adelaide, but what about her middle name? When my sister suggested our maiden name, it sounded right, we loved it...but then I realized her initials would be ABC. 

I wasn't thrilled with the idea, although Sabian loved it. It stuck, and I do love her name.

And I love her.

My heart feels a little sad for her lately. While moving to a new place can sound fun in theory, when it's lived out it naturally comes with challenges. When we told Addie we were moving she was excited, and we were excited with her, and we talked about the fun aspects of moving. We did talk about how it meant we would be leaving family and friends, but then we talked about visits to and from them.

Now, not quite a month later, I see the signs of transition playing themselves out in this sweet four, almost five, year old. And I feel sad.

I want to make it better. Quickly. I want to make it easy. Now. But it doesn't quite work that way. There are plenty of opportunities for learning and communicating and growing. I want it to be comfortable. Soon.

I find myself wanting to shield her from the not-so-fun side of all of this change, but I can't, and it would be counterproductive. I know that the best thing I can do for her is show her I love her. To listen, to be patient, to be gentle, to be understanding, but to not let her get away with bad behavior at the same time. And really, the best, best I can do is to surrender her little self to God and pray for her.

I know that if God has sent us here, He will provide in every way. I know it, but to be honest, I don't always feel it. But I know it and I do believe it.

I also know that this super strong little girl is going to adjust better than her worrisome mom, and that when she says, "I miss my friends," in the same minute she's off trying on the day's favorite princess dress and hunting down a crown and missing her friends moves to the back burner. While I know it's important to address the "missing of friends," I'm learning that it might just be more important in that moment to find the shoes that match that crown, and to trust that God is guiding and directing us and that He is taking care of my little girl.

So, I might be a little sad, but I do have hope.

I am so thankful for Addie and so thankful that God cares about the little things, the big things, and everything in between.

New

It's the eve of 2014, over four months since my last post. I didn't intend to leave my blog high and dry. In fact, it probably would have been a good thing for me to have been blogging consistently this past year. 

I imagine as I blog (hopefully) more consistently in 2014, the events of 2013 will weave themselves into my posts - and I hope they do. While 2013 has not been the easiest year I've ever lived, it has been a fruitful, valuable year, and I do not want to forget it.

I'm in a new state, a new town, a new house and Sabian has a new job at our new church. Addie will go to a new school and both she and Olive will encounter all sorts of new. We've made new friends and hope to make more and have new, fun adventures as a family. I am hopeful. And yes, I am sad to be away from family and close friends yet again, but that's what comes with all of this newness.

New. In some cases, when it comes to clothes and furniture and, well, stuff, new is welcome in my book. When it comes to new experiences, new places, new people, it is harder to write those things in my book. Not impossible, not completely unwelcome, just harder. It's easier to choose a new chair for my living room - it's a lot harder to move my four year old away from her family, school, friends...her comfort. But, she'll likely adjust much better and faster than I will. The encouraging part of this is that we'll all adjust and learn and grow together.

As with any other new year, we all face the new. Last year as a family we faced a lot of new experiences just as 2013 was dawning, and the same goes for this year, as 2014 approaches. One thing that remains the same is God's faithfulness, which then prompts this reminder:

"Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
all I have needed thy hand hath provided;
great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!"

New mercies. Never failing faithfulness. What a way to end and start a year.

I am thankful for God's faithfulness. Happy 2014!

She's one

My Olive is a year old.

This photo of her makes me laugh. She's all eyes and funny faces.

A year. Wow.

Olive's first year hasn't quite been a "normal" first year of life, but it's been a good year. As is customary, here is my one year Ode to Olive.

Sweet Olive Mae Chaney, we've carted you around in this first year of your life. Moving from Florida when you were two months old (a week after you had a little surgery!), moving again into our apartment when you were four months old, and just trying to figure out the rest ever since.

You have such a sweet disposition. You smile at everyone, although if you're in Mommy or Daddy's arms, you're content to stay right where you are. For now, you're still mostly a Mommy's girl, although upon seeing Daddy at the end of his work day, you are keen to spend some time with him.

You're little, but you're strong. Everyone comments on how little you are, but you're a tough tiny girl. Climbing before you could walk, and now that you can walk, climbing on anything on which you can hoist those little legs. It's not unusual for me to walk into a room and find you up on a coffee table, or an ottoman, a chair, or the train table your sister got for Christmas last year. Once you've shown me how proud you are of your feat, you're usually needing a little help down from your perch.

Sleep isn't necessarily your thing. It's been a bit of a jolt to recognize how different your sleep habits are from your sister's. You are early to bed, early to rise, and a few wake ups in between. I'm praying that as you get older, more sleep will descend upon our household. Your mama needs it!

Your eyes. Oh those blue eyes. 

You shriek, you chirp, you say "mmmm, mmmm," a lot, especially when you're eating ice cream (which you LOVE). Your babbling continues to increase and become more and more conversational. I can't wait to hear your little voice.

Watching you develop is so much fun. I'm a little sad that you're not such a baby anymore, but you're such a fun one year old and I love watching you grow. You have truly, truly been a bright spot and a joy to our family during this nutty year and I'm so thankful you are part of our family. Prayerfully, we can offer you some more normalcy soon!

I love you, sweet Olive Mae. Happy one year.